Five years ago tonight, we were living through the longest hours of our lives. Our daughter- our sassy little warrior princess- was slowly getting closer to slipping into eternity. I really can’t describe what it’s like to watch as a doctor removes a breath-giving tube from your child’s throat…knowing that it most likely means the end of your time with the one you carried in your womb is near. Not knowing how long you had left- both wishing for time and dreading its continued harshness and pain.Hours I would not give back for anything but sometimes wish could be wiped from my memory.
So much has changed in five years. Grief beyond imagination. Healing. Depression. Bittersweet moments. Joy unspeakable. Brokenness. New life. Guilt. Restoration. Longing for Heaven. Hope.
And it’s all because there is a light. His name is Jesus. He was a baby in a manger and he’s the hope of the world.If we want to take hold of the hope, we have to bear up under the weight of this world. We have to accept suffering and allow God to overcome.
I’ve lived in the darkness…I’ve wondered if there ever was really a light to begin with. But I know deep within my bones there is. I would still be living in the dark if I had refused to open my eyes and let the light come flooding back in. Jesus.
Tomorrow, 5 years without my first-born. One day, eternity with my Jesus.
Please watch this if you need some hope this Christmas. Thanks to Bro. Mark, Mick, and FBC Rogers for reminding us about the light.