A Weeping Christian: When Faith and Grief Collide

A blog by Kimberly Crumby

Reflect (5 Minute Friday)

You can find more info about 5 Minute Fridays over at http://lisajobaker.com/five-minute-friday/. You see the prompt…set your timer for five minutes…write. No pressure to say it perfectly- which is exactly what I need sometimes.

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December 6. As I reflect on that date, a million emotions flood my soul. That’s not the date most people think about when they kindly remember the story of our Hannah Grace. But December 6th will always be cast in the shadowy part of my heart.

The day we began the ugly, horrible march to Hannah leaving this world.

As I watched the doctors remove the whirring machine that did the breathing for our sweet girl, the pit of my belly was filled with dread.

No one could tell us how this would go…what it would be like…how long she would survive.

As the first 24 hours passed by so slowly but so lightning fast at the same time, I realized that this would not go the way I desperately prayed it would.

It would not be quick or what I would call peaceful. Those next 40 hours had me watching her…waiting for some sign that the time was drawing near…listening to slowing, labored breaths escape her body.

In the wee hours of the morning on December 8th, our first born slipped away into eternity. I like to think she went directly from my arms to the stronger arms of Jesus.

Reflecting. It hurts. It heals.

Stop

 

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6 thoughts on “Reflect (5 Minute Friday)

  • Susan Gage says:

    Thinking of you and your family, Kimberly.

  • I don’t know you and you don’t know me but I wish with all my heart I was with you so I could wrap my arms around you and pray silently with you. Believe me when I tell you that I will be holding you and your family in my heart and praying.

    ~ Cassandra from Renaissance Women
    Here via Five Minute Fridays

    • kimberly.crumby@att.net says:

      Thanks so much, Cassandra. One amazing thing I’ve learned from this experience is that I really can feel it when people are lifting me up and praying. It’s tangible…thank you for reading, commenting, and praying.

  • Reba says:

    I find myself reading your story and wanting so much for the ending to be different (as I know you have probably wanted every single day). I wish I had the right words to say but everything I think sounds right doesn’t. All I can say is I am thinking about you and reflecting with you.

    • kimberly.crumby@att.net says:

      Hi Reba- I definitely will never understand why it had to end that way. I just cling to the comfort that she is in a place that could never compare to this one. Don’t worry about having the “right” words- I’m not sure those really exist. Just knowing I am in your thoughts helps…it really does.