A Weeping Christian: When Faith and Grief Collide

A blog by Kimberly Crumby

Firsts

change

I’ve had all the cliché thoughts.

How can my baby be old enough to go to kindergarten? Where did the time go? Before I know it he will be going to college.

However many phrases such as these pop into my mind and out of my mouth, in my soul I know that I do not think quite the same way as many mamas.

Maybe it’s because I will be blessed to be in the same building with my sweet boy every day…or that school is no mystery to me. I am very aware of what he will be doing in kindergarten, and I know his teacher will be a godly presence in his life.

And who knows? By the time anyone reads this on a Monday of firsts, I may be curled up behind my big desk bawling (either because my child is growing up or because I’ve realized I really am the assistant principal).

But I don’t think so. You see, I am just so stinkin’ thankful that my son is still on this planet. I consider it a joy that he will walk like a big boy into that classroom full of excitement.

All while carrying the sadness that my first-born never got her longed-for day of kindergarten. So very surreal.

Yet again, I find myself so overwhelmed with gratitude that this isn’t all there is. That my sweet girl is experiencing something far better than anything she ever could’ve here.
 

As change continues to rear its head (sometimes ugly, sometimes needed, and sometimes hard to distinguish), I am more fully relying on Solomon’s wisdom of knowing that there is indeed a season for everything. Life…death…jobs…babies…friendships…but always God.

I’m thankful for Jesus. For Heaven. For kindergarten. For another day. For eternity.

Comments are currently closed.

One thought on “Firsts