Broken (5 Minute Friday)
In Christian culture this seems to be one of those in vogue words lately- we talk about being broken before God…coming to him in brokenness…how we can’t really live out his will until we are broken in some ways.
I agree with all of the above.
But when I think about being broken, it’s not some academic theological concept. For me, it’s a physical, mental, and emotional state that some of us have experienced.
Many understand what I’m talking about- the physical brokenness that only comes when you have experienced something so breathtakingly tragic that you literally feel as if your breath has indeed been taken. That feeling of needing to bend over in half to keep yourself from totally shattering. The mental brokenness that comes when our brains (blessedly) turn off in some ways to protect us…and when we wish some of that brain power would come back. Being broken emotionally is in some ways the hardest for me- not knowing when and how things are going to bubble to the surface.
As I have been forced to deal with being broken, I have had the unequivocal experience of knowing how it feels to be put back together. This was nothing I could have ever accomplished on my own; I may have been a facade of togetherness, but there would have been many gaping wounds and crevices if I had done it with my own power.
With God doing the mending, there are still some cracks in there, but they are survivable. They teach me. They allow me to cry for others. They help me talk to my son about Heaven and Jesus. They have taught me to yearn for those things about which I talk to my child. They remind me that I have nothing to fear.
I am understanding more and more how we have to make a choice about whether to allow God to weave those threads around our tragedies or try and muddle through it ourselves. God is so faithful to mend…no matter how long it takes…if you let him.