When Joy is Hard to Find
This week’s topic with Holley Gerth and the God-sized dreamers: What brings you joy- especially when it comes to your God-sized dreams?
We usually link our posts on Tuesdays…and here it is, Saturday. Even while being home all week on spring break and actually having time to write, the words would not come.
I have had a hard time really thinking about what brings me joy the last few weeks. See that picture up there? I am nowhere near that smooth, easy, I-could-walk-for-miles pavement. I am somewhere in those mountains trying to find my way…and not enjoying the view.
Do I have joy somewhere deep in my heart? I most certainly do. Do I have that shout and jump for joy feeling? I most certainly do not. And you know what? That’s just fine.
So when I think about what brings me joy, it’s so ironic that it’s almost funny. What brings me joy is knowing that I don’t have to feel like I could leap tall buildings in a single bound. I don’t have to force a perpetual smile and shout Jesus’ name from the rooftops. I have learned that it’s ok (and much more realistic) to sometimes have that calm, quiet sense of joy and peace. The one that lets me get out of bed in the mornings…and keep breathing…and keep going.
When you search the scriptures, you won’t find a Jesus who was constantly exuberant. What you will find is a man who experienced a wide range of emotion- delight (imagine a lap-full of children vying for his attention), grief (weeping at his friend’s tomb), and despair (those almost unbearable moments when he asked his father if there was another way…any other way…shortly before his cruel crucifixion). But I do believe that Jesus’ life demonstrated a quiet joy; he knew that he could bear to walk in human flesh because his father was there. Always. As he is for us.
Pursuing God-sized dreams is tough- heck, living regular life is tough. So, if you don’t feel “happy” and ready to conquer the world, take heart. Being a Christ-follower doesn’t mean you should always feel that way…it means that, when you don’t, you have a unexplainable joy that cannot come from your own heart.