A Weeping Christian: When Faith and Grief Collide

A blog by Kimberly Crumby

When Joy is Hard to Find

A long and direct highway

This week’s topic with Holley Gerth and the God-sized dreamers: What brings you joy- especially when it comes to your God-sized dreams?

We usually link our posts on Tuesdays…and here it is, Saturday. Even while being home all week on spring break and actually having time to write, the words would not come.

I have had a hard time really thinking about what brings me joy the last few weeks. See that picture up there? I am nowhere near that smooth, easy, I-could-walk-for-miles pavement. I am somewhere in those mountains trying to find my way…and not enjoying the view.

Do I have joy somewhere deep in my heart? I most certainly do. Do I have that shout and jump for joy feeling? I most certainly do not. And you know what? That’s just fine.

So when I think about what brings me joy, it’s so ironic that it’s almost funny. What brings me joy is knowing that I don’t have to feel like I could leap tall buildings in a single bound. I don’t have to force a perpetual smile and shout Jesus’ name from the rooftops. I have learned that it’s ok (and much more realistic) to sometimes have that calm, quiet sense of joy and peace. The one that lets me get out of bed in the mornings…and keep breathing…and keep going.

When you search the scriptures, you won’t find a Jesus who was constantly exuberant. What you will find is a man who experienced a wide range of emotion- delight (imagine a lap-full of children vying for his attention), grief (weeping at his friend’s tomb), and despair (those almost unbearable moments when he asked his father if there was another way…any other way…shortly before his cruel crucifixion). But I do believe that Jesus’ life demonstrated a quiet joy; he knew that he could bear to walk in human flesh because his father was there. Always. As he is for us.

Pursuing God-sized dreams is tough- heck, living regular life is tough. So, if you don’t feel “happy” and ready to conquer the world, take heart. Being a Christ-follower doesn’t mean you should always feel that way…it means that, when you don’t, you have a unexplainable joy that cannot come from your own heart.


{How do you deal with life when joy is hard to find?}

 {What do you think about the new site? My old blogger address (www.heartsforhannah.blogspot.com) should have directed you to the new one (kimberlycrumby.com). If you were an e-mail subscriber formerly, I’m not sure if that will keep working. If not, you will find an e-mail subscribe box on the right side of the page. I welcome any feedback on the design, contents, etc. Thank you!}


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3 thoughts on “When Joy is Hard to Find

  • Bonnie says:

    Thanks for this post, Kimberly. Much needed reminder. Praying! Love your new blog!

  • Esther says:

    Hi Kimberly,

    Lifting you and your family up in prayers.
    Praying for the adoption process.
    When joy is hard to find? I pray and ask God to remind me of things to be thankful for so I know He is there and it brings me back the joy despite the difficult position I am/was in.

    Isaiah 46:4
    I have made you and I will carry you

    Claim God’s promises :)


    • kimberly.crumby@att.net says:

      Thanks for your sharing your thoughts, Esther. It is so powerful to choose thankfulness when it feels unnatural to do so. Love that word from God you shared.