A Weeping Christian: When Faith and Grief Collide

A blog by Kimberly Crumby

Trusting

I’ve spent a lot of time hugely doubting myself…making excuses…not carving out time…which were really all ways of not fully trusting God.
 
I started my scary journey towards my God-sized dream with a baby step- emptying a wall of its furniture and going in search of the perfect writing desk. As you may recall, it looked like this:

Cheap, Craigslist desk
Almost empty wall

After some time spent researching how to paint furniture (entirely new territory for me) and gathering supplies, I got that desk painted. My long-suffering husband listened to my very vague ideas about some art I wanted for the space (and I use the term long-suffering because I give him vague ideas but in my head I know exactly what I want- and he has to figure that out since I’m not able to accurately describe said ideas). My mom reminded me that she had my grandmother’s precious little wooden sewing chair and offered it to me. So, without further ado, here is my writing space:
 
 
 
 
(If only I could take a straight picture with good lighting… and in case you can’t tell, the verse on the top canvas is Isaiah 40:31)

So, it’s time. Time to stop delaying what I know in my heart I must do- which is tell Hannah Grace’s story. I have a space that inspires me…the story is in my heart and the words roll around in my head…and now I’m ready to fully trust that God equips those he calls. These words may not ever be read by anyone, but God willing, they will be there. For Caleb…for family…for me…but most importantly, for more proof that God indeed brings beauty from ashes.
 
P.S. While on the topic of trusting, please continue to pray about the potential adoption situation. We are still prayerfully (and trying for patiently) waiting. Which reminds me of my “Hannah” bracelet… Hannah’s C.R.E.W.- Confidently Resting, Eagerly Waiting.

 

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6 thoughts on “Trusting

  • Cathy says:

    2-3 years ago I finally was brave enough to sit down and write down my story (double murder of my MIL & SIL) – of pain, heartbreak, struggle and ultimately discovering the power of grace and knowing joy again – yes, like you said, God bringing beauty from ashes. I wrote the story for my girls to read one day – but actually, the journey of writing it, while sometimes painful, proved to be another step in my healing journey. So be encouraged as you venture forth to write it all down – The journey of writing is worth the effort! I will pray for you on this journey.

    • What a hard story that must have been to tell…I’m so sorry that your family has endured such a tragedy. It is so very painful to work on it- I find myself with tears streaming down my face every single time I work on it. Thank you for the encouragement from someone who has walked this road.

  • Lisa says:

    I love the writing space you created! It’s so cute and inviting :) Can’t wait to one day read your story…as hard as it is, I know, just like you said, that God does create beauty out of the ashes! Praying for you on this journey!