A Weeping Christian: When Faith and Grief Collide

A blog by Kimberly Crumby

Sovereignty

God is sovereign…even when it hurts. This sovereignty has been in the forefront of my mind lately. Such a hard concept to really think about when the time comes to accept something that would never in a million years be what you would desire. There is a Chris Tomlin song out that deals with this very issue (listen here).
Sovereign in the mountain air
Sovereign on the ocean floor
With me in the calm
With me in the storm

Sovereign in my greatest joy
Sovereign In my deepest cry
With me in the dark
With me at the dawn

In your everlasting arm
All the pieces of my life
From beginning to the end
I can trust you

In your never failing love
You work everything for good
God whatever comes my way
I will trust you

All my hopes
All I need
Held in your hands

All my life
All of me
Held in your hands

All my fears
All my dreams
Held in your hands

The God who is there when we are giddily celebrating up on the mountain top is still the same God who holds us close in the deepest valleys of tremendous despair- and everywhere in between. Many people ask, “How can this be? Why would a God who is good allow terrible tragedies and loss?”.
I don’t have the answers to all the questions I have myself; I am certainly not able to adequately explain these things to others. I just know that I have had to come to a place where I can accept that God has not intervened in situations when I desperately cried out for him to do so. Acceptance does not mean that I like it, or that I don’t question and wonder and have deep discussions about it…but I accept it. That is a choice we have to make at some point. There are moments, days, and weeks where I feel really shaky about it all…but God is sovereign. I am thankful that I don’t understand it all because then my own knowledge would be the best there is- quite a scary thought.
As I fought tears all morning Friday on what would have been Hannah’s 8th birthday, I knew even then that God has it all under control. ALL.
I am reminding myself of this as we contemplate and pray over a possible adoption situation that came to our attention Friday…yes, on Hannah Grace’s birthday. Please join me in praying for clarity and peace regarding these potentially life-changing few days.
Here are a few pictures of the results of this year’s Hearts for Hannah project and blood drive. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to those of you reading this who had any part in honoring Hannah’s memory. Precious, precious child.
some of the 1500-2000 books that were lovingly donated to Africa Reads

 

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