A Weeping Christian: When Faith and Grief Collide

A blog by Kimberly Crumby

Fear

This morning at church, I had the privilege of singing in our choir for part 1 of our Christmas program (we are trying something different- instead of a traditional one shot Christmas cantata, we are doing ours on Sun. mornings over the course of three weeks- FBC Rogers, 9 and 10:15 am… but I digress). One song was entitled “Fear Not”, and it was all about how we have to give up the things we can’t control… He will be our joy through every sorrow… so we should fear not, because our God is with us. Wow- did I ever need to let that sink in today.

I saw a quote during a Veteran’s Day presentation at church-
“Courage is fear holding on a minute longer.” George Patton

I know this is going to be one of those weeks where I feel like my minutes to hold on are about all used up… hard week ahead. The doctors and nurses took that ventilator tube out of Hannah Grace’s sweet body on Dec. 6th three years ago. She finally went to be wrapped in Jesus’ embrace in the wee hours of the morning on Dec. 8th. Amazing how it’s been three years, but I still sit here and weep as I type like it was just three months ago. How we would appreciate your fervent prayer- especially this week.

Grief? Fear not.
Adoption? Fear not.
Telling our story? Fear not.
Knowing tragedy can lie just around the bend? Fear not.
Not knowing what God really has in store? Fear not.

No matter what… fear not.

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4 thoughts on “Fear

  • Emily says:

    praying for y’all this week and always. what a great reminder to never fear, thank you!

  • Jenny says:

    Kimberly, I have been thinking about you often over the past weeks. My mom’s birthday is on Dec. 8th, so I will always remember sweet Hannah Grace on that day too. It is hard to believe it’s been three years. I remember anticipating the removal of the vent, and then praying so hard for her to be healed. I woke up in the night several times and prayed. It was hard to understand (and always will be) why even with all the prayers that were lifted up, God didn’t heal her. I still struggle with it, to be honest, and I never even met Hannah in this life. I can’t even imagine your grief. I can see that God is using this tragedy for good. For me, personally, Hannah’s life taught me more about loving my children, and about what’s important, and about the need to pray with them and over them. And I know that He is using you for good in other people’s lives too. I’m praying tonight for God to stand you up when your knees are weak, to wrap you up in His love, and give you peace.

    • You have been such an encouragement to me with your comments, e-mails, etc. I still struggle with it too- it seems quite shocking to know that so many people can desperately pray for something- and God chooses not to answer those prayers in the way we all wanted. I’ve just had to reconcile that I will never understand that while I live in this flesh. And I have to remind myself that my ways are not His… and instead of saying, “Why me?”… why not me? Not to say that any of that happens all the time or that it’s easy. Thank you so much- and I hope your mom has a wonderful birthday.