A Weeping Christian: When Faith and Grief Collide

A blog by Kimberly Crumby

What is spiritual maturity? (and adoption update)

Something that has been rolling around in my mind lately is a quote from one of the Grief Share videos- I wish I could remember the gentleman’s name (I think Larry Crabb?), but he said that his definition of spiritual maturity is being able to delight in God’s unpredictability. Now, we love to delight in His unpredictability when we experience an unexpected blessing or we have our prayer answered the way we want. However, it can be a little (or a lot) harder when we are forced to say goodbye to someone we never thought we would… we lose the job we love… we are asked to pick up and move our family half way around the world to be a missionary. Now, I’m not saying that God causes everything that happens to us. We have free will… evil forces… other peoples’ choices… you name it. But often He does ask things of us that aren’t comfortable, easy, or fun. But it is those things that invariably lead to our growth.

I still have days where I feel like God has surely messed up in what He has required (and continues to require) of me. I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that God does not make mistakes- even when it feels like He must have me confused with someone else. It’s these days I have to remind myself that I can’t trust my feelings and emotions all the time- I have to trust that still, small voice that whispers to me: “You can do this… you have the strength you need through me… I haven’t brought you this far to leave you now.”

With that being said, thank you for covering us in prayer… we still need it every.single.day.

We are almost to the end of the application process with DHS. We have our home study TONIGHT at 7:00. This is where we are interviewed, both together and separately, to ensure that we could provide a healthy home for a child/children. After this, there will be a final home walk through to check to make sure we have our fire extinguisher, knives/prescription meds locked up, fire escape plan posted, etc.

I have also felt led (and God has opened the door) to start a Grief Share group at our church. Again, I feel like I am being moved when I don’t necessarily want to move- I love my Grief Share team so much that I currently serve with. Honestly, I was not sure why God sent us to this church for awhile… but as usual, I can look back now and see His plan at work. I know there must be a need at this church if God has put that on my heart. So, I am stepping out to start a group and I know God will provide. If you or anyone you know would benefit from coming, we will be starting on Sunday, Sep. 9th at 4:30 at 1st Baptist Rogers. There will be childcare, and there is a sign up link on the church’s website (www.fbcrogers.org).

I will wrap up by answering some common questions that we have been asked:
-We do get some choice about age, background, etc. for a child. We are open to a child between the ages of 0 and 11… and we are willing to take 2 siblings. So, we could go from 1 child to 3… breathe breathe breathe. :)
-We have no idea how long it will be before we get a call.
-Young children are very rare for adoption only… the foster parents who currently have the child while the parental rights are being determined have the first choice about whether to adopt- and they usually do.
-We wouldn’t find out one day and get the child/children the next day. There would be a gradual process of transition. We would have the child/children for 6 months (which is technically considered foster care) and then could adopt.

Now, if we could go pluck a child out of thin air to call our own, we would probably go for one child around 12 months to 4 years. We know the odds are not great for this (in fact the opposite of great), so we are keeping our hearts open. But I think it’s ok to ask God for what you really want while knowing you will accept what He gives you.

Thank you again for your prayers and support. We love you.

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2 thoughts on “What is spiritual maturity? (and adoption update)

  • I don’t know if you would be interested in this type of situation, but i thought I would share with you just in case. A sweet woman from my home school group emailed this a few weeks ago. Keeping you in our prayers.
    Hi all,

    Young Silas has an immune deficiency blood disorder.  You will not die from this anymore if you have drugs – he will have NO life in China.  He has ONE year left to find a family.  These pictures do not do him justice – PLEASE go to Annie’s site and watch is 30 sec. video – he is naive, sweet, and so desperately wants a mom and dad.  Please, someone, give him a chance.

    There is a wonderful aging out boy on Lifeline’s list that I just have to tell you about!  He is “Silas” on my site.  He is 13 years old, has an immune deficiency disorder and his video is just wonderful!  Please read a little bit about this terrific child:

    Silas has been living with a “warm hearted mum”. His file states that he has a big foster family and is very caring and responsible, getting along really well with his foster sisters and brothers. It is said that Silas is very sensible, often helping his foster mother to do housework and that he “never annoys mum”. WOW!  His file also states that Silas helps his younger foster sisters and brothers with their study and that they love playing with him. Silas is said to especially like various sports, is optimistic and has many hobbies.  Silas is reported to study hard, respecting teachers, uniting classmates and actively participating in sports activities, receiving good grades and was awarded as the honor of merit student.  His teachers love him very much.  According to his file, “Silas is a clever, sensible and handsome boy; we sincerely hope that he may have a happy family.”

    Please email me at annie.hamlin@lifelinechild.org about this precious child who is said to be a star student and ages out in the Spring!!!!!!  Please go here, http://wonderfulwaitingkids.com/2012/silas/ on my site to watch his wonderful video!!!!!  I pray this great kiddo does not age out.

  • Mary Lehman says:

    Kimberly, I’m praying for you on your path to adoption, especially for peace for your sweet family as you delight in God’s unpredictability in the process.

    God bless you, Kimberly. I am also praying for your first Griefshare class tomorrow. I know you will help many people through this ministry!