A Weeping Christian: When Faith and Grief Collide

A blog by Kimberly Crumby

Desperately Needy

Aren’t we all in some way… desperately needy, I mean. God has been using some things lately to teach me about need. I know that different people struggle with different kinds of needs… some yearn for financial security, many want close relationships, some want to be wives/mothers/husbands/fathers/grandparents (fill in the blank) so badly they can’t see straight. I know people who need praise… need to quietly toil in the background… need hugs… need personal space… you get the idea.

As I have tried to adjust to my new normal, a surprising fact I’ve learned about myself is that I need people to remember. One of the things that was and is hardest to cope with was the fact that everyone else moved on with life… as they should; but it doesn’t always feel like that’s what’s supposed to happen. I am blessed to have people in my life who continue to remember in so many ways; some who faithfully check on me (texting can be a great invention at times); some who are prayer warriors on my behalf; some who have donated to causes that matter in Hannah Grace’s memory; some who aren’t afraid to say her name

One surprising thing about grief (among many) is that you end up with those you always knew would continue to be there (2 1/2 years later); people who surprised you with their ability to help you bear up under the weight of it all; people who you thought would be there always but for various reasons were not. It is so easy to hone in on those disappointing surprises… and this is where God has been busy at work in me lately.

Here’s what Beth Moore said in her Jesus: The One and Only book:

God created us to need something or someone else. Sooner or later any healthy individual discovers that autonomy doesn’t cut it. Once we confront our need for someone or something beyond ourselves, we will subsist on the alms of others if we don’t discover Christ. Like beggars we go from person to person (or situation to situation- my thought) with our empty cup, crying, ‘”Can’t you add anything to my life?” They might throw in a coin or two. In fact, a few may be weekly… and probably weary… tithers. But when we shake the cup, the tinny echo reminds us how empty we remain. Until we allow Jesus to fill our cups daily, we simply subsist.

Ultimately, I am learning that Jesus is the only one who can meet our needs… fill our empty cups… heal those terrible wounds in our souls… never disappoint. While some can come awfully close from a human standpoint, God has taught me that no one person can fulfill us 100% of the time. So, I must keep my eyes on Him… and isn’t He stunningly beautiful?

“Found” by Aaron Ivey

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