A Weeping Christian: When Faith and Grief Collide

A blog by Kimberly Crumby

Touch Points

The front and back of Hannah’s monument

We (finally) have a monument for our sweet Hannah Grace. This might seem weird to some, but I just never got in a big hurry to get this done. I’m sure it’s partly because this is more tangible evidence that I will never see her again until I get to heaven. It also has to do with the fact that I’m not a “cemetery person”… I do not really have a desire to go out there often. I guess I just so identify with Hannah Grace singing and dancing at the feet of Jesus… I don’t identify with an empty shell in the ground. I know some people receive great comfort by going, and that’s easy to understand too. I just say all that to say I realize it’s kind of crazy that it’s been over 2 years. It did take 6 months from the time we got it all ordered… yet another thing I never knew about the funeral/cemetery industry. I’ve learned a lot that I never thought I would know at 32 years old- about that and many other things.

I titled this entry touch points because we learned in one of the Grief Share sessions that we all have and need these. These are things that help us preserve memories… or revisit memories… or bring us comfort. This looks different for everyone, but things such as monuments, scrapbooks, clothing quilts, cards, special belongings, etc. were mentioned. Lately I have come to appreciate Caleb as a living touch point; it continues to amaze us how much he can look/act/sound like his sissy. What used to be so painful for me now brings me many smiles and some measure of comfort.

As I blogged months ago, I am helping out in the Grief Share ministry now. It’s definitely one of those things where you think you are going to help someone, but you end up feeling like you get more than you give. This is the 4th time I have been through these DVDs/lessons, and I hear something every time that I somehow missed (or wasn’t ready for) the last 3 times. 

I caught one of those moments a few weeks ago in the lesson titled, “Why?” (that one will make your brain hurt). How have I never noticed this scripture before? I Cor. 15:25-26 (message translation) says, “He (Christ) won’t let up until the last enemy is down and the very last enemy is death!”.

So, I can rest in knowing that Christ will totally conquer death one day- and that means no more suffering, pain, tears, disappointment, regret, loss… how much I look forward to that day.

Thank you to those who helped with our “Hearts 4 Hannah” project this year… we were able to deliver a whole “Nanny-van” load of items to the EOA Children’s House today. Some of our EAST students are taking over 4 boxes full of items they collected next week. I know how busy life is (and how expensive gas is), so I really appreciate you. The blood drive was great this year- we ended up with 30 something units donated. We had a ton of sweet souls who tried to give but couldn’t for various reasons. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

 Some sweet person/people decorated Hannah’s tree (the bird’s nest is still there).
 Sweet Mimi and the “other Amy” as Caleb calls her did a great job organizing the 3rd annual blood drive… and lots of sweet friends came.
 One of those sweet friends (who is scared of needles) still gave…
 and a sweet Daddy (who is also scared of needles) did his part.
When we had our first sweet baby on February 15, 2005 we never thought we would be here… so thankful for God’s promises.

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