A Weeping Christian: When Faith and Grief Collide

A blog by Kimberly Crumby

What a coincidence…

Isn’t it amazing how sometimes you really have something on your mind… and someone “happens” to initiate a conversation with you about it… or you “happen” to hear a new song about that topic, or you “happen” to hear a word you needed… as you can probably guess, I don’t believe that all these “happenings” are coincidence. If you are like me, sometimes you need to be pretty much hit over the head with a spiritual two by four to really get something. I admire all those who can always hear that still small voice of the Holy Spirit; I need the sledge hammer effect at times!

As my last post indicates, Heaven has been on my mind a lot… and corresponding to that wondering why life has to be so hard. I know, I know… we weren’t promised easy lives- quite the contrary in fact. But seriously? So I go to church tonight and hear this song, which may be familiar to you, but it was new for me.

“The Sovereign Lord is my strength
He enables me to go on the heights
And I am not afraid
The Sovereign Lord is my strength
Where are the greener pastures
Where are the quiet waters
The Sovereign Lord is my strength”

(“The Heights” by the David Crowder Band)

The last two lines really resonated with me… sometimes I know in my head that the greener pastures are there somewhere but seem to be eluding me… the quiet waters are just outside of my grasp. Then came the next part (from “Cry Mercy” also by DCB)

“I will wait
I will wait for Your peace
I will wait
I will wait and You comfort me

I lift my head
I lift my heart, my soul
I lift my hands
I give myself, my life my all

And I cry mercy Lord
A cry of freedom to be heard
And I cry mercy Lord
A cry of freedom from this world”

So, after thinking about this, what do I need to do when I can’t seem to find those greener pastures or quiet waters? I need to wait on the Lord and receive His comfort and peace; He always provides it, but we must be willing to receive. I need to look up from this hard, cruel world and turn my attention towards surrending my whole self to Him. I need to cry out for mercy, and God will provide.

Then, the rest of “The Heights” wrapped up the song:

“You are my green pastures
You are my quiet waters
The Sovereign Lord is my strength”

Wow… I don’t have to go searching for those pastures or the quiet waters… I just have to draw my gaze upward.

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