A Weeping Christian: When Faith and Grief Collide

A blog by Kimberly Crumby

Heaven

Welcome to this new adventure… even though it really only has a new face. I was going to give this blog a name that had something to do with a scripture or an inspirational quote, etc. However, I quickly discovered that I must think like many other people because all the things I thought of were already taken. And then I thought, “What’s more spiritual than going through the deepest valley of my life?”. That valley was and is horrendously deep because, as any mother knows, your children have a place in the most sensitive, primal, awe-inspiring part of your heart. Losing a child is like physically losing part of yourself- this life that you carried in your womb… felt the kicks… the little hiccups… is gone temporarily. Although the “temporary” part of that seems debatable to me at times (because this life feels so terribly long), it has led me to think a lot about this planet we inhabit versus Heaven.

I am currently reading Randy Alcorn’s Heaven, which makes my brain hurt, and I look forward to sharing some of that when I have a better grasp of the ideas presented. Until then, I can honestly say that the comfort and peace I have knowing that I will see my little girl again are priceless- and I believe I will see her, and know her, just as she was here but with that perfection we are all lacking now. Until then, some days are a struggle… some are better than others… and it doesn’t get “better”- just different. As I read a story from a class called “Interrupted Expectations”, one little statement resonated with me, and I would love to share it. Charles Stanley told a story about someone once telling him that life is hard because it’s so daily. That is the truth- whether it’s a horrible loss, an unexpected home repair, disobedient children, an important piece of paper that you just can’t lay your hands on… we could all go on and on. I’m learning that I must make the decision daily to lay everything at the feet of Jesus… He can handle it.

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